A little lonely...

... not everyone goes to a bar to meet members of the opposite sex or find a conversation for the evening. From behind the bar you will encounter all manner of people with all manner of agendas (there's that fucking word again!) and it is best if you learn to discern people and their motives, so as not to confuse your different types of patrons and say or do what could be considered anything inappropriate. It takes attention first and time second, but in the end any energy you exert in these directions will eliminate the chances of you losing money on a two-fold front. First fold, the money of the tip on the spot and second fold and more importantly in the grand design of your success in establishing a career behind the bar, the money of a repeated customer who digs the way you do things and tips accordingly based on that fact, time and time again.

Examples.

Some people like a little bit of 'lonely' in their bar experiences. I know I do. Sure, there are times when this isn't the case - mostly the times I enter the bar with friends and loved ones. Or after I get to know a bartender I will sometimes stop by to have a drink just to chit chat. But more often (and these days the word often applied to my being in a bar is ludicrous) if I'm walking into a pub alone I'm bringing a book or notebook and pen. This doesn't mean I want to be left completely alone, but a good bartender knows my engagement will be on my terms. This isn't to be rude, but some people, myself obviously included, like sitting at a bar by themselves and just sipping a pint while doing something. Nothing replaces the feeling of doing a little writing over a pint or two while surrounded by but not necessarily being a part of a pub's environment. I guess it's a way for me to play act as an adult, now invoking literary greats like Hunter S. Thompson, Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald just like I used to run through the woods and climb trees invoking Luke Skywalker, Snake Eyes and Megatron.

So the idea here, as a bartender to a bartender, is don't crowd your customers. Don't offer advice or polite conversation unless that is what the person is there for. A lot of times I've shown up to a bar with a book only to have the bartender not only ask what I'm reading, which is fine, but to go on and on about the unlikeliness of anyone bringing a book into a bar anymore, or start talking about their brother and his aspirations to be a writer and yada yada yada. That's fine if I take the bait with the first dialogue but when someone insists, invariably because they think I am really there to find companionship, it gets annoying fast. I'm reminded of that Bill Hick's bit where he's talking about bringing a book into a Waffle House in the south, where the waitress responds to seeing him sitting there reading by announcing to the rest of the restaurant 'We got us a reader!'. As a bartender you should strive to make every patron feel as comfortable as possible - the best bars are only as good as their 'tenders and the best bartenders make everyone, even the first time patrons, feel as though they've been there a million times - welcome and respected.

Another part of this is something I've talked about before but bares re-mentioning - NEVER ASSUME. This means if Jimmy Jim Jim comes in everyday for a year and orders a Drambuie on the rocks, never have it ready for him - unless that's his thing. I know that seems confusing, but now this goes back to the paying attention part. Every hardcore regular will let you know what they want and expect if you are paying attention, so pay attention. However, if Mr. Jim Jim does expect you to have it ready, but on day 366 comes in with a lady friend you've never seen before, do not have it ready and do not greet him with 'Hey Mr. Jim Jim, your usual?' Guests, especially men bringing in lady friends, requires a certain degree of anonymity, at least at first.

So summing it up, PAY ATTENTION - it will PAY you back in the end.