Regulars

Rule number one: TREAT YOUR CUSTOMERS GOOD, TREAT YOUR REGULARS AS IF THEY WERE ROYALTY.

Seriously, these are the people that not only are going to make the biggest impact on your financial status, but also, well, they're the ones who are going to make your job enjoyable. In my years at the hotel I had regulars that came and went. Some died, some moved and some just stopped coming in. The latter would of course always make you wonder occasionally about their livelihood. To this day even from this side of the bridge of several years and 3000 miles I consider many of them good friends and I look forward to, even in unlikely cases, seeing them again.

Now, regulars can also be assholes (see previous post). Unlikely? Maybe. You'd think that the factor that adds up and makes one return again and again to an establishment would be the repore they develop with the other people there. In some cases this might be someone who gets along with some of your other regulars but just doesn't like you* or it may be that they are just the kind of asshead that, being powerless in their own lives they need a place where they can go and cause ill will and conflict (plenty o' them out there). Either way, my advice on this type of regular is idealistic in nature, but still, it goes like this: DON'T GIVE THEM THE BLOODY SATISFACTION. They are looking for, yearning for the conflict, the confrontation, the bullshit. Do you know how funny it is to watch these type of people not get what they're after? Oh, its hard to do, because there will be times that you are busy and under pressure and feel like shit and the last straw will be some jag-off** like the aforementioned Quarters showing up. But if you can go zen, and manage to deny the maggots there detritus, oh, its a joy to watch their own frustration build and erupt, consumming them and making them look like an asshole to that many more people around you as they escalate their attempts at cracking your cool.

*If this is the case one thing you should NEVER do is try and either tell your good regulars about your problems with the asshead or even worse, try to enlist their opinion and sway them against him. That side of the bar is that side of the bar for customers - it can only lead to trouble to get mixed up in that kind of thing.

**Just wanted to stop for a minute and share a reflection on this wonderfully strange curse word: Jag-off. Doesn't get nearly enough credit as a rough, best-when-barked in a gruff angry voice of disblief curse. Say it with me now. C'mon, out loud: Jag Off. Nice! Par it with 'fucking' in front of it or 'shit heel' behind it for an extra flavorful slur!!!