I have long been a bar person, but not just any kind of bar. Shortly after becoming of legal drinking age my good mate Brown introduced me to two bars that have coloured my perceptions of every joint I’ve entered since. The first was the Rocking Chair Lounge in beautiful downtown Orland Park, one of the more ‘affluent’ (read yuppies, a mall, and for a long time no blacks) suburbs on Chicago’s Southside. In such a surrounding, the Rocking Chair was a bastion of working class sensibility to my otherwise violently cynical visage.
The second, Karl’s Pub, is still standing today and remains my favorite drinking establishment in the world. Why? What make’s Karl’s so special? The people. And that’s that. As I told my younger sister when she turned twenty-one and then again my younger cousin on the same occasion, you can go to all manner of bars and they’re looking for a good time but by nature they are really only as enjoyable as the people there. You could go to the wickedest club in Los Angeles or Rome, Italy for that matter, and if it’s filled with unfriendly, mean or stupid people you WILL NOT have a good time nor a strong desire to return, unless of course you are either a sadist or a person studying human behavior for its own sake. If you are studying human behavior and you find a bar filled with these kind of people, you should probably apply for a job there, because as I’m sure I will reiterate many times here, there is no better place to learn the psychology of the human animal than from the unique vantage point offered serving people intoxicants.
Speaking of pubs and clubs, a large part of this issue of what makes a bar good is obviously personal taste. What I like, you might not like, and vice versa. So how do people find out what they like? How do you look at the phone book for your area, surf through the names of all the drinking establishments possible and pick something to try? Well, for many it’s by what type of bar they are. Let’s go over some of the different genres, if you will, eh?
Bar – This is an obvious general term for an establishment that serves liquor, beer and/or wine for consumption on its premises. The term probably originated as slang by outsiders from the days when public drinking establishments required membership and non-members were ‘barred’ from joining in. This was in contrast to our next division,
Pub – shortened slang for ‘public house’, the opposite of the membership required bar, anyone could drink in a pub. Internally ‘bars’ and ‘pubs’ all have their own layout, specialty and design, but the distinctions between the two exist only in the long ago day that their patronage was different. It is common knowledge that Britain tends toward the use of the word ‘pub’ while ‘bar’ is a slightly more American use for the same basic type of establishment.
Clubs – A club does not necessarily serve alcohol, but most do, unless they market themselves to minors, in which case non-alcoholic beverages often accompany bad dance music. Of course this implies that only minors listen to bad dance music and if you’ve been to only a couple of clubs in your life you can probably atest to this as not being the case. No, bad dance music is a non-discriminating tribulation of modern society and it is my belief that when in the hands of alcohol-swilling adults it poses an even greater threat in that the prefix ‘bad dance’ shifts from an adjective to a verb.
Clubs usually have themes and it is in this way that they target market their clientele and gain a regular following. For instance, just in case you have been living under a rock (as I often would like to) there are Goth clubs with their pseudo-vampire clientele, there are Strip clubs, where, depending on which gender they market to, members of the opposite sex dance naked for show. There are gay clubs and leather clubs, dance clubs and rock clubs and all other manner of themes you can probably imagine. I have even come across ‘fight clubs’ in my day – a bar that houses a large boxing arena and people decide who in the crowd they wish to beat, if the other party is game (which they almost always are – I mean, imagine the social pressure) both sign wavers absolving the club of any responsibilities and then they fight for the amusement of the other patrons.
Taverns – essentially just another word for a bar, although in some areas the distinction of ‘tavern’ is bestowed by tradition or legal license, the term is more closely related to the days when ‘taverns’ were the same or similar to ‘Inns’. Think medieval days when road weary travelers needed places to stop along their arduous journeys in order to replenish themselves with food, beverage and a place to lay their head for rest.
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So there you have it. Distinguishing for yourself what the various monikers of potential hang-outs and watering holes may have in store for you will help you narrow down your search for the kind of place where you can get down to business and do what it is you are traveling there to do, relax, meet people, party and have a good time!
Once again I’ve segued away from myself though. How did we get to this mock encyclopedic listing anyway? Oh yes, my favorite watering hole, Karl’s. As I was saying before my digression, Karl’s is my favorite because of the people. The barkeep on Monday (not Tuesday) and Wednesday through Friday is Dee and since the very first time I walked in Karl’s and sat down she has been one of the nicest people I’ve ever known. And the same can be said for the clientele. I love a place where I can go catch a buzz and read or talk all manner of interesting topics with intelligent people. For me, from the perspective of my experiences, that’s Karl’s.
This is what you need to have in your corner if you’re a bartender or waitstaff. It’s like ‘homebase’ where you can recover after your own shift pouring drinks. Clubs tend to have industry nights, and that’s when they have special prices for ‘tenders and wait staff. But while this can come in handy from time to time, do you really want to go to a club to unwind after work? If you do, then that’s all well and good, but if you’re like me and prefer a little more mellow most nights after slingin’ poison and dealing with drunks, find a tavern with good people on both sides of the bar and relax. And for god’s sake, if you’re in the business I shouldn’t even have to tell you this, but treat your waitresses and bartenders right, okay? In my experience, other than it being the right thing to do, there is a kind of slippery Magick to bar life, and one aspect of that is a direct correlation between the way you tip and the way people tip you.
You’ve been warned.
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